Kopp and I fed the cows together tonight and I almost DIED!!! We were heading down the hill to feed the herd across the road. They just so happened to all be at the top by the gate (which, of COURSE, I opened) so they were really trottin’ along, right? Like, full speed running and bawling at the same time. They got to going so fast they missed the turn into the section with the feeders and had to back track! It was actually a good thing because that gave us a few extra seconds to start dumping feed. Anyway, I’m trying to stay in the mule AND keep my boobs from giving me black eyes because Kopp is driving so fast. He says, “Ya better move fast, Mom, they’re coming!” I’m like, WHAT?!?! I already play Gate Wench, now I gotta play Dodge Cow?!?!
So I jumped out and spun around to grab a bucket and you know what!?!? JASON PUT 50LB BAGS OF MINERAL ON TOP OF THE FREAKIN’ BUCKETS!!! I started yelling, “WTH, Dad!! You covered the GD buckets with mineral?!?!” Instead of coming to my rescue, he hollered at me to move my butt!! I’m in an absolute panic because the cows have completely surrounded the trough, mooing and slobbering, pushing and shoving. It was a shark feeding frenzy for sure. I managed to throw one bag off a bucket (adrenaline rush), and I slung the first bucket of feed. Thank God they were distracted long enough for me to get the other mineral bag off and dump the second and third troughs. My chivalrous farmer, after not lifting a single bucket OR bag, checked the mineral feeder which ironically didn’t need filling. I chewed Kopp’s butt all the way back up the hill, half expecting him to make up for leading me to my potential death by opening the gate, but, NO, I was back to Gate Wench. Next we went across the creek to feed those guys. Apparently something I said registered because guess what? The S.O.B. didn’t make me close that gate on the way out (I despise that gate)! Small victories, Man. I’ll take it!
