Charlotte and I noticed a new calf in the corner of the pasture as we came down the driveway from domestic shopping Sunday morning. I hopped out of the car to check on it and of course, I spooked it, so it slipped under the fence and took off up the hill. I figured Momma would call it back down and didn’t mess with it, plus I had to get to church to work at our ice cream social.
Off I went to help at church, got home around 4:00, and changed into cow clothes to check on this calf.
As I stepped out of the yard gate, I noticed a Momma standing along the fence line looking up the hill, so I knew the little guy was still up there. I got the mule and drove the long way around the fence so I could get to the top of the hill, and low and behold I came upon the calf. I stopped a little way away from it, got an ear tag ready, loaded my pockets with the tagger, bander (for just in case it was a bull calf), the bottle of vitamins, some antiseptic spray for the umbilical cord, and the Little Bo Peep hook thing to catch it with if it ran. I approached the calf ever so slowly while talking to it, “Hi, Sweetie! Your momma is looking for you”, I crooned, and “It’s okay, don’t be scared. Don’t you want to see your mommy? Aren’t you hungry?”. I baby talked my way over to it as it was calmly laying on the ground blinking slowly at me with its soft brown eyes, and I juuuust stepped over the top and POOF!!! The calf literally sprung all four little legs off the ground at the same time and was gone!
I thought, “Shoot, if this little guy takes off in the woods…” So, I took off running after it. Thank God it made a sharp left and headed back down the hill because as I was running, with my pockets loaded with all the calving gear, my shorts fell down. Here I am, trying to be nice and reunite this little family, running across the pasture with my underwear hanging out like a darn fool. As I pulled my shorts up over my swampy butt with one hand, I threw the Bo Peep hook thing like a javelin with the other hand towards the calf and headed to the mule to go get some back up.
Luckily Kopp had just gotten home from the church picnic, so I pulled up to him on two wheels and said, “Get on, we gotta new calf out, I just lost my pants chasing it, and it’s hunkered down in the ditch by the fence.” Kopp chuckled, shook his head at me and got on. When we got back to the calf, Kopp hooked it with Bo Peep as he jumped off the mule, I jumped off the other side of the mule, with my pockets still loaded, ready to jump in there. Suddenly Kopp did a summersault in the ditch, as the darn calf went back under the fence and up the freakin’ hill. Luckily Kopp was able to basically step over the barbed wire and grab the calf by the back legs but as I tried to get through, my shorts AND shirt got stuck in the wire! I managed to rip free as Kopp hollers, “I can’t hold it much longer, Mom!” I got my other leg through the fence and tackled that spritely little bastard to the ground! I’m talking linebacker style! After I rolled it over to straddle it, Kopp checked to see if it was a bull (it’s a heifer), I tagged her little ear, then we each grabbed 2 legs and carried her squirming butt over to Mom.
Whew! What a sweaty, calf roping rodeo! I’ve got some bruises on my legs from tackling her but at least I kept my shorts on!!
