What else is there to do for the evening after edu-taining children all day? Why, chase a calf, of course!
So, today’s calf-tastrophe started earlier this afternoon when I got a message from a friend saying we have a calf out by the bridge on ZZ. I messaged back and said, “Yeah, that guy gets out all the time, it’ll find its way back in. Thanks for the heads up”, and left it at that. We’ve gotten messages pretty much every day about the little booger so it’s like whatever.
Then about 45 minutes later I got another message from another neighbor saying we have a calf out. I responded with the same I-don’t-give-a-crap-we’re-tired-of-this message, packed up my stuff from my classroom, and headed home.
THEN, I got to Gerald and got ANOTHER message from a DIFFERENT friend that said we have a calf out, same spot, same M.O. but this time some Lost Valley city slicker saw it and freaked out and called the cops. Our friend happened to drive by as the poor city slicker flagged her down in a mad panic, going on about being careful and, “Don’t worry, I’ve got the situation under control because I called the police to deal with the animal,” blah, blah, blah. They probably thought they were really something tapping into their mad neighborhood feral cat-trapping skills from their fancy cul-de-sac. Whatever, Amateur.
I got home and didn’t even go pee before Charlotte and I suited up to deal with this freakin’ calf before Fox 2 was flying over and spotlighting the S.O.B. for their 9:00 newscast. Despite FREEZING ourselves stupid, we managed to chase it back in the pasture on the mule, but that unfortunately brought the whole damn herd down because the mule means FOOD to them.
Kopp thought he figured out where the little guy was getting out, which is a gap we have set up for when it floods. There’s a small mound it was jumping from so it could get out, but not back in. Anyway, we shimmied under the barbwire fence while lugging the post hole digger, hammer, wire, pliers, and headlamps so we could see what to do, fixed the fence post so it was set straighter, tightened the paneling with wire, and twisted the crap out of the fence gap in the hopes that the mother trucker doesn’t get out… again. If it does we’re in agreement that it’s gettin’ butchered!
Now we’re all thawed out, I finally got to pee, and it’s time for bed. If I dream of ANY cows jumping over ANYTHING, even if it’s the freakin’ moon, I’ll shoot the darn thing myself. (Not really, but it sure sounds tempting.)
